Most children worry from time to time.
A new school year, a test, a sleepover, a conflict with a friend or an unfamiliar situation can all create temporary anxiety. Worry is a normal part of childhood and can sometimes help children prepare for things that matter to them.
But sometimes anxiety becomes bigger than the situation.
A child may begin avoiding school, worrying constantly, struggling to sleep, experiencing physical complaints, withdrawing from friends or needing repeated reassurance from parents.
As a Registered Psychotherapist who works with children and teens, I often remind parents that anxiety doesn’t always look like fear. It can look like avoidance, irritability, perfectionism, physical discomfort or simply saying, “I don’t want to.”
The goal isn’t to eliminate every uncomfortable feeling. It’s to help children understand their anxiety and gradually develop the skills and confidence to manage it.
What Does Anxiety Look Like in Children?
Anxiety can look different from child to child.
Some children clearly say that they are worried. Others communicate anxiety through behaviour.
You might notice:
- Excessive worrying
- Frequent reassurance-seeking
- Avoiding new or difficult situations
- Difficulty separating from parents
- Trouble falling asleep
- Frequent stomach aches or headaches
- Irritability
- Crying more often
- Perfectionism
- Fear of making mistakes
- Avoiding school
- Difficulty with friendships
- Fear of being judged
- Difficulty trying new activities
- Becoming overwhelmed by changes in routine
One sign on its own doesn’t necessarily mean a child has an anxiety disorder.
The bigger question is whether anxiety is persistent, intense or interfering with everyday life.
If you’re looking for information about what anxiety can look like at different ages, AboutKidsHealth offers helpful resources for parents.
How Do I Know If My Child Has Anxiety?
Parents often ask, “Does my child have anxiety?”
A therapist cannot determine a diagnosis simply from a list of behaviours, but there are patterns that may warrant further attention.
Ask yourself:
How often does my child seem worried?
Occasional worry is normal. Frequent worry that seems difficult to control may deserve closer attention.
Is my child avoiding things because of fear?
Avoidance can be an important clue.
For example, a child may avoid:
- School
- Sleepovers
- Parties
- Speaking in class
- Trying new activities
- Certain social situations
- Being away from parents
Is anxiety affecting everyday life?
Consider whether worry is interfering with:
- School
- Sleep
- Friendships
- Family life
- Extracurricular activities
- Independence
- Enjoyment
When anxiety begins limiting a child’s life, professional support may be helpful.
How Can I Help an Anxious Child?
There are several ways parents can support children who are experiencing anxiety.
1. Listen before trying to solve the problem
When a child is anxious, parents often want to immediately make the fear disappear.
That instinct makes sense.
However, sometimes the most helpful first step is simply listening.
Try:
“That sounds really hard.”
or:
“I can see that you’re worried about this.”
You don’t have to agree that the feared situation is dangerous. You can acknowledge that the feeling is real and uncomfortable.
2. Avoid dismissing the worry
Statements such as:
- “There’s nothing to worry about.”
- “Stop worrying.”
- “You’re fine.”
- “That’s not scary.”
may be intended to reassure, but they don’t always help a child feel understood.
Instead, try acknowledging the feeling while helping your child consider what they can do next.
3. Help your child name what they’re feeling
Children may not always have the vocabulary to describe anxiety.
You can help by using simple language:
- “Are you feeling worried?”
- “Does your stomach feel tight?”
- “Are you nervous about what might happen?”
- “Does this feel like a big worry or a little worry?”
Learning to identify emotions is an important first step toward managing them.
4. Teach your child that anxiety is a body response
Anxiety can affect the body as well as thoughts.
A child might experience:
- A racing heart
- Tension
- Sweating
- Stomach discomfort
- Restlessness
- Difficulty concentrating
- A strong urge to escape or avoid something
Helping children understand these reactions can make them feel less mysterious and frightening.
5. Practise coping skills when your child is calm
It is difficult to learn a new coping strategy in the middle of an overwhelming moment.
Practise skills during calm moments so they are easier to access when anxiety appears.
Depending on the child, strategies might include:
- Slow breathing
- Mindfulness
- Grounding
- Movement
- Positive self-talk
- Identifying thoughts
- Breaking a difficult task into smaller steps
- Taking a short pause
The goal is not to create a giant toolbox of techniques. It’s to find a few strategies that actually work for your child.
6. Help your child take manageable steps
Avoidance can provide immediate relief.
If a child is afraid of something and avoids it, they may feel better temporarily. But repeated avoidance can also make the situation feel increasingly difficult.
A gradual approach can help children build confidence.
The appropriate pace depends on the child and the situation. The goal isn’t to throw a child into their biggest fear. It’s to help them take manageable steps while knowing that support is available.
7. Be careful with repeated reassurance
Parents naturally want to reassure an anxious child.
Sometimes, however, a child can begin asking the same question repeatedly:
- “Are you sure?”
- “What if something happens?”
- “Are you sure I’m going to be okay?”
Answering the same question again and again may provide temporary relief without helping the child develop confidence in managing uncertainty.
A therapist can help parents understand how to respond supportively without unintentionally reinforcing an anxiety cycle.
8. Keep routines predictable when possible
Predictability can be particularly helpful for children who become anxious around transitions.
Consistent routines around:
- Waking up
- School
- Homework
- Meals
- Bedtime
- Activities
can give children a stronger sense of what to expect.
Of course, life isn’t always predictable. Part of building resilience is also helping children gradually learn that they can cope when plans change.
9. Encourage sleep, movement and regular routines
Emotional wellbeing is connected to basic physical needs.
Adequate sleep, regular meals, movement and predictable routines can all support a child’s ability to manage stress.
These strategies aren’t a replacement for therapy when a child is experiencing significant anxiety, but they can be an important part of the overall picture.
10. Model healthy ways of responding to stress
Children learn from the adults around them.
That doesn’t mean parents need to be perfectly calm all the time.
Instead, children can benefit from seeing adults acknowledge stress and use healthy strategies to manage it.
You might say:
“I’m feeling stressed about this, so I’m going to take a few minutes and slow down.”
This shows children that difficult feelings are something we can notice and respond to rather than something we need to fear.
What If My Child’s Anxiety Is About School?
School anxiety deserves particular attention because school occupies such a large part of a child’s life.
An anxious child may:
- Worry about tests
- Fear making mistakes
- Worry about friendships
- Avoid participating
- Complain of physical symptoms before school
- Have difficulty separating from a parent
- Refuse to attend school
- Become overwhelmed by homework
The underlying reason matters.
School refusal, for example, can have many possible contributing factors. Anxiety, social difficulties, academic stress, learning challenges and other concerns can all play a role.
Rather than focusing only on getting the child through the school door, it can be helpful to understand what is making school feel difficult in the first place.
What If My Child Has Anxiety and ADHD?
Anxiety and ADHD can sometimes overlap.
A child with ADHD may experience challenges with organization, attention, impulsivity or emotional regulation. Those challenges can sometimes contribute to frustration or worry.
At the same time, anxiety can make concentration difficult.
This is one reason it is important not to assume that every attention problem is ADHD or that every emotional challenge is anxiety.
Understanding the individual child is more useful than trying to fit their experiences into a single label.
How Does Therapy Help Children With Anxiety?
Therapy can give children a space to understand what they are experiencing and develop practical strategies for managing it.
The approach depends on the child.
At Little Waves Therapy, I draw from evidence-based approaches including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, mindfulness, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, DBT skills and play-based interventions.
For example, CBT can help children explore the relationship between thoughts, feelings and behaviours.
A child may learn to notice:
Thought → Feeling → Behaviour
and begin identifying patterns that contribute to anxiety.
The goal isn’t to tell a child, “Don’t think that way.”
Instead, we can work together to develop more flexible and helpful ways of responding.
What Is CBT for Child Anxiety?
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or CBT, is an evidence-based approach commonly used to help people understand connections between thoughts, emotions and behaviours.
With children, CBT is adapted to their developmental level.
Sessions may include:
- Identifying anxious thoughts
- Learning about emotions
- Recognizing patterns
- Practising coping strategies
- Developing more balanced thoughts
- Building confidence
- Taking manageable steps toward difficult situations
CBT is not a one-size-fits-all treatment. The way it is used should depend on the individual child.
Can Play-Based Therapy Help an Anxious Child?
For some children, talking directly about anxiety can feel difficult.
Play and creative activities can provide another way to communicate.
Play-based interventions can help children explore emotions, practise coping skills and develop a stronger therapeutic relationship.
This can be particularly useful when a child has difficulty explaining what they are feeling in words.
When Should I Get Professional Help for My Child’s Anxiety?
Consider reaching out to a qualified professional if anxiety:
- Persists over time
- Is becoming more intense
- Interferes with school
- Affects sleep
- Limits friendships
- Causes significant family stress
- Leads to substantial avoidance
- Prevents your child from participating in activities they enjoy
You don’t have to wait until anxiety becomes severe.
A consultation can help you understand what you’re seeing and whether therapy may be appropriate.
How Can I Talk to My Child About Therapy?
Try to avoid making therapy sound like a punishment.
You might say:
“We’re going to meet someone who helps kids understand big feelings and worries.”
Let your child ask questions.
Explain that they won’t necessarily have to talk about everything immediately and that the first step is getting comfortable with the therapist.
At Little Waves Therapy, building trust is an important part of the process.
Anxiety Therapy for Children in Thornhill and Markham
I provide individualized therapy for children and teens at Little Waves Therapy in Thornhill, with a focus on concerns including anxiety, ADHD, emotional regulation, self-esteem, social challenges and school stress.
My approach is collaborative and tailored to each young person. I draw from evidence-based approaches while making sessions practical, engaging and developmentally appropriate.
Little Waves Therapy is located in Thornhill and serves families from surrounding communities including Markham and York Region. Virtual sessions are also available for teens and parents across Ontario.
If you’re unsure whether your child’s anxiety is something to address through therapy, you can start with a complimentary 15-minute consultation.
Helping Your Child Through Anxiety
You don’t have to make your child’s anxiety disappear to support them.
The goal is to help your child understand what they’re experiencing, feel supported and gradually build the confidence and skills to handle difficult moments.
Sometimes progress happens in very small steps.
At Little Waves Therapy, I believe those small steps matter.